The Cries of a Lost Girl
by athousandyellowdaisies
Summary: AU Emma did have a family until she was 14. It just wasn't hers. After a traumatic event, she runs away and finds herself dependent on her boyfriend who keeps her under control with drugs. In the present, she and the Neverland gang are trying to get Henry back. But these traumatic experiences are coming back, and maybe a certain pirate can help her through. Set the night after 3x02
1. Chapter 1

**AN: First off, if you're waiting for me to update _You Make my Heart Glow White_, I promise, I will. I'm just having major writer's block…that has lasted 5 months. If there is anyone who has any opinions or ideas/ wants to discuss the general direction I'm trying to go, I'm down to talk about it.**

**Current story: I've never written a legit AU and the style I'm going to use is completely new to me, so I'm sorry if this fails. But I'm going to hope it doesn't.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of this show.**

_She stumbles into the room of a building long since abandoned, except for the homeless. After a long night in her beat-up red pumps, jean mini-skirt, and a tank top too stained to still be called white, she attempts to walk straight to her friends – not that they would notice her staggering._

_Her vision and mind are cloudy. She can't even remember the cause of it this time- or if she even knew the cause of it while she was doing it. She is only sort of aware of what is going on around her. She is aware of where she is. She is aware that she hasn't eaten in over a day and she should be hungry. She recently became aware of what day it was – her supposed sixteenth birthday. And most of all, she is aware of the fact that she wants to be aware of everything. She wants her mind to clear. She wants to get better, but whenever she tries, her body's need pulls her back under._

_Her boyfriend calls her from across the room and she looks for his voice rather than his face. She realizes she had come to kneel on the floor in front of a couple heading quickly towards third base, with needles sprawled around them. Her hair is matted to the sweat on her forehead and she half-heartedly tries to brush it out of the way as she stands up._

"_Baby, C'mere. Davy says we can, uh-" he licks the grime and god knows what else from his teeth while raising an eyebrow, "Arrange another form of _payment_ for our – nutrition. He just needs to see you in the other room for awhile."_

"_Chase, I- I don't want to. I- I just want to go home."_

"_This is your home, baby," he laughs as he stumbles over to her to grab her arm._

"_No! I don't want to," she tries to push him off of her. "I want to get better."_

"_Bullshit, you whore! What's your problem? Are you with someone else?" He yanks her around by her arm, whipping her head and making her long, blonde curls become matted with some sort of gunk- blood maybe- on the wall._

"_No! No, I-"_

"_Of course you're not. No one else would want you."_

"_Look, Chase. I can do it this time. I can get better," she pleas._

"_If that was right, you'd be with your mommy and daddy in your sell-out suburbia home. You thrive for this," he sneers as he shoves a bag of white powder in her face. "And you ain't freeloadin' here, so get your ass in there."_

_She begins crying, "No. I'm going to do it- I'm going home," she pulls away._

_He throws her back on the ground. "Oh, yeah?" He kicks her in the stomach. "I'd like to see you try. I'm sure mommy and daddy would be so proud of their little whore."_

_She sits up and shoves him back with what little strength she has, "You know nothing. They will take me back!"_

"_Then why haven't you left yet?"_

"_Because- because-" her silent tears become audible moans._

"_That's what I thought," he grabs her arm again, leading her to the dealer, "Now go pay our tab."_

* * *

"Emma," she hears someone shout in the darkness.

"No! Please, no," she shouts back in response. They are shaking her now and so she tries to fight back. With her eyes still closed, her fist manages to come into contact with something hard.

"Bloody hell, Swan!"

She opens her eyes and can barely make out the figure, now that the fire has died down in this wretched Neverland, "Hook?"

"I couldn't sleep and you were _crying_ in your sleep. I- I was just going to check on you. And then you knocked me one in the face."

"I'm so sorry," she instinctively reaches for his face, but stops short when she realizes what she's doing.

"Are you alright, love?"

Emma hesitates, "I will be- as soon as we get Henry back."

He is worried about the brokenness that the small reflection of light from the moon lets him see. "Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

He offers his hand and she takes it. Once he helps her up, she slips her hand away and into her pocket. They walk side by side, but never touch.

**AN: What do you think? Reviews are highly appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Don't always expect me to update this quickly. I did tonight so I could avoid doing grown-up things (I still like to pretend I'm not grown up). I hope you like it!**

After awhile in silence, Hook looks up at Emma. "So, what memory were you forced to relive?"

Emma is slightly startled by the sudden sound of his voice and scrunches her eyebrows at the question.

"What?"

"Your dream- it's what the island does to the lost boys- forces them to relive their loneliest moments – the ones where they wanted their family- a family- the most. It's why they cry at night," Hook stops and places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"How would you know?" Emma asks defensively as she pulls back.

Hook gives a curt laugh, "I was forced to relive the same lonely moments for centuries. If you don't learn to get past them, they will eat away at your soul until you're a shadow of what you were."

"And-" Emma hesitates. "How'd you get past them?"

Hook pauses, reluctant to share such personal information. But looking into her desperate eyes, he knows he needs to continue. "I didn't. Neverland reduced me from the lost pirate I was to nothing but revenge. I didn't just want revenge; it was all that I was. I had no feelings or desires besides it."

Seeing the horrified look in Emma's eyes, now that she understood the power of the island, makes Hook jump to add, while pulling out his flask and handing it to Emma, "But this takes the edge off of it at least."

Emma takes the flask without a second thought and pulls the cork out with her teeth. She takes a swig and exhales, before looking up at him and chugging some more. When she removes the bottle from her lips, she sputters a bit before handing it back. She sits down on a nearby rock and cradles her head in her hands as Hook, unmoving, watches her. After a moment she looks back up and asks, "And what will become of me- of my family if we stay?"

"We won't," Hook walks over to her and, kneeling in front of her he continues, "You'll bring us all back."

Emma scrutinizes him. She looks to see if he really believes that- and he does. "How can you be so sure?"

He gives a one-sided grin, "Well, you said it yourself, love. You're the savior."

Emma scoffs at that, "A lot of good that's done me."

Hook chuckles and sits down next to her rock. They sit in silence, staring at the constellations for the longest time, with only the flask passing between them.

Eventually, Emma curls her knees into herself and rests her chin on them before glancing at the pirate and asking, "Why don't they hear it?"

"Hmm?"

"Regina- my parents- they don't hear the crying. They don't have the dreams."

"Only a lost boy knows what this kind of loneliness sounds like."

Emma hesitates again, "Mary-Margret, David- they don't understand. They try to and they want to make up for it, but they just don't get it."

"Were you always an orphan?"

Emma looks down and avoids the question. This is getting too personal and the past is already too real in her dreams. She doesn't want to relive it while awake as well. "We should be getting back."

"Swan, you can't avoid your past- not here. There is no future here. The past is all you have. And if you're forced to relive the loneliness, isn't better not to do it alone? Isn't it better to share it with someone who can understand?"

"I-" Emma's voice cracks, "I can't."

"Emma," Hook growls, exasperated. "You have to own it before it owns you."

"You don't understand!"

"Don't I though? At least you parents gave you away so you'd be safe. My mother left us because she couldn't stand my father and didn't want my brother and I because we reminded her of our father. My father abandoned us on a ship because thievery was more important than us."

"I didn't know that my parents wanted me. My whole life I thought they abandoned me on the side of the road- that they didn't even care enough to take me to a hospital. And yeah, I had an adoptive family until I was 14, but there wasn't a single day that I didn't feel like an orphan," Emma shouts, standing up halfway through her rant, because she couldn't stay still. She paces back and fourth in front of the rock and Hook.

"They abandoned you when you were 14?"

"No," Emma paused to breathe back her tears. She squares her shoulders before adding, "I ran away."

The next time she walks by him, Hook grabs her hand and guides her down to sit next to him. She looks up at him, bewildered. He releases her hand and tucks a lock behind her ear before urging her to continue.

"What made you feel alone- like an orphan?"

"Besides my 'brother' and 'dad' forcing it into my thoughts every chance they got?" Emma asks as she closes her eyes and begins narrating the vivid images she sees replacing the darkness.

* * *

_She's coloring a purple unicorn in the den when her brother, Bryce, grabs the crayon out of her hand and breaks it in two. She begins to cry and Bryce jumps on the couch and pretends to watch TV right before their mom comes in to see what's wrong._

"_What happened, honey?"_

"_Bryce broke my crayon!"_

"_I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose."_

"_Yes he did," she cries louder._

_Her dad stomps in and yells, "Why the hell is the girl crying again?"_

_Emma tries to stop crying and retreats under the table as she holds back her sobs._

"_She has a name," her mom responds coolly._

"_I don't care, just make it stop."_

"_Bryce was picking on her, he broke her things."_

"_That's what the girl told you. Did you do it, son?"_

"_No, daddy," Bryce pouts._

"_See, she probably broke her own crayon and just wanted to get my son in trouble."_

"_Or your son broke your daughter's crayon and lied about it."_

_Her dad slaps her mom across the face, "I don't know why you stand up for her."_

_It was the girl's first memory._

* * *

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Writing my name. Mommy taught me how."_

"_Why are you fooling around when your chores aren't done?"_

"_Mommy told me to practice-"_

"_You're not going to be a freeloader here- just because you were born that way. If you are going to live in my house, you're going to pay your dues," he grabs her arm and throws her into the kitchen. "Sweep the floor!"_

"_But Bryce doesn't have to do chores!"_

_Emma receives a blow to the face, "Don't you argue with me, you little shit!"_

* * *

"_Emma," Bryce taunts her._

"_Bryce, stop!"_

"_What're ya gonna do? Tell dad?"_

"_Stop!"_

"_Emma, do ya know why no one loves you?"_

"_Stop it!"_

"_Dad told me how come! It's 'cause you're adopted!"_

"_No, I'm not!"_

"_Yuh-huh! That's why no one cares about you!"_

"_Stop," she whines._

"_Dad told me even your real parents didn't want you, that's why the threw you on the side of the road."_

_She begins to cry._

"_They threw you out. Just like dad wants to. He told me."_

"_Stop," she screams at the top of her lungs, which of course brings her dad running into the room._

"_Don't you dare demand anyone in this house to do anything," he slaps her._

"_Bryce keeps saying I'm adopted!"_

"_Yeah? He's telling the truth. I would never have a daughter like you."_

* * *

At this point, Emma's face is raw from the giant amount of tears that escaped, despite her eyes being shut so tightly. She stops, unable to go on. No one has ever heard these memories- not even Neal, when he had rescued her.

Hook wants to be there for her, to help her, but he also knows how thin of a line they're walking on. He begins twirling her hair between his fingers- trying to reassure her without over stepping their boundaries. There would be a time for that- tomorrow when they pretend this never happened- when he can return to his cocky, yet charming pirate act. But for now, he wouldn't threaten her opening up for anything.

She looks up at him, waiting for him to make the next move. He doesn't want to push her too far, instead he offers up a part of himself.

"When I was a small boy-"

**AN: So, this was going to be an Emma-centric piece, but I realized that he had to offer up a part of himself as well. If you want me to add Hook flashbacks, let me know. Reviews are also very nice things.**


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